Some sorta wild and hopefully interesting facts . . .

My first job was as a lifeguard. Which is weird because...

 

I have an insanely deep fear of the water. Not so much being in it or around it or floating on top of it, but what's lurking underneath it. I'm pretty sure every lake, river, creek, and puddle is harboring some man-eating monster.

1.

I'm obsessed with the band Queen. Which is weird because...

 

When my wife and I went to London, I had a chance to see We Will Rock You (the musical based on the band's songs) and I chose to go see Wicked instead. But Jackie really wanted to go see it and I'm totes in love with her, so...

2.

I used to have a pet tarantula. Which is weird because...

 

I will turn into an arm-flailing, screaming-with-fear psycho if I see a spider in my house. They scare me as much as the water monsters I know are living in the creek behind my house. But I thought having one as a pet would cure me of my phobia. It didn't.

3.

Collecting Hulk stuff is my jam. Which is weird because...

 

I've got my entire comic-book store's worth of toys, clothes, statues, and figures packed away in boxes downstairs. Where no one can see them. Not even me. I dunno, maybe I think I'll get them out one day? Or maybe I'll have a kid to bequeath them to?

4.

I've hiked the Grand Canyon. Which is weird because...

 

I was supposed to be the "hiking expert" on the trip. For some reason, the guys I went with all thought I hiked all the time. But I never had. So we got there and they turned to me like I was supposed to know what to do. I confessed that I was a total hiking noob and we went anyway. We made the 9+ mile hike--nearly dying a few times--in one day. In June. Running out of water. While carrying 50 pounds of camera equipment.

 

5.

6.

Coffee is necessary for my survival. Which is weird because...

 

I only started drinking it a few years ago. Before that I couldn't stand the stuff. But one day, Jackie and I were binge-watching Twin Peaks and Agent Cooper commented on the diner's coffee. So I decided to try it one more time. Black. No sugar. It was love at first sip.

 

7.

I love living out in the boonies. Which is weird because...

 

I'm severly allergic to poison ivy. And it's EVERYWHERE around here. Every summer I end up getting it all over me and it somehow creeps up to my face and one of my eyes swells shut making me look like the Michelin Man doing a bad Popeye impression. But at least our house is surrounded by woods so no one can really see my face. Silver lining, I guess.

 

8.

I once was a door-to-door salesman. Which is weird because...

 

I'm not the best salesman. Like at all. When I was a kid, I started a business where I found interesting pieces of gravel from our driveway and I sold them to my parents. The rocks were two for fifty cents or three for a dollar. And, of course, there was that one time when I was demonstrating to a nice family about how the super-sharp scissors I was selling could cut through a penny and I bled all over their table after I nearly cut off my thumb.

9.

My love for crazy socks runs deep. Which is weird because...

 

Even though I wear them every single day, they're always covered up by the legs of my pants or jeans. So no one usually gets to see the weird designs I'm carrying around on my feet. But at least I know they're there. Giving me powers. Fueling my creativity. Keeping my toes warm.

10.

I could eat pizza for every meal. Which is weird because...

 

It's not weird. Because pizza is incredible.